Listen to be listened to

Do you recognise the following? You are eager to enthusiastically share an experience with someone. The latest travel you have made with significant others, for instance. The other person interrupts at least as enthusiastically, recuperates your travel story by starting to talk about his latest travel. The effect on the other: never mind, I’ll tell […]

Crucial talks: the usefulness question

When we have crucial talks with people, 1-to-1 or 1-with-many, we can ask the usefulness question. To yourself or to others. Crucial talks are talks that matter, that are truly important to you or the other(s). They are best held face-to-face, using the ‘law of the 2 feet’: I am coming somewhere to meet you in person and […]

Envisioning your team or organisation

Find out together how we can make your vision, mission, strategy, goals, values, desired interaction work. Write me a short e-mail at and I’ll contact you within 24 hours. First, I want to invite you to read the following short text. Peter —- Discussions in most organisations contain too much conceptual talk. They somewhat […]

When to WHY

The word ‘why‘ is a significant conversation changer. A conversation between people being the most important enabler to create useful change, it is worthwhile thinking about when ‘to why’. Here are some thoughts: 1) WHY + problem talk leads to blaming and counter-blaming (often, not always) ‘Why did you not do that?’ ‘Why have we […]

5 ways to make people hungry for you – job searching

1) Be on the radar of many different people in many networks… Don’t only connect with decision makers who may want to hire you for their organisation. As a LinkedIn user, for instance, connect with more than 1 contact per company you want to be working for. You will make yourself too vulnerable in case […]

The Stockdale paradox

Admiral Jim Stockdale, the highest ranking United States military officer in the ‘Hanoi Hilton’ prisoner-of-war camp during the height of the Vietnam/American War: ‘This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which you can never afford to lose – with the discipline to confront the […]