Deeper, more meaningful conversations that create swift progress
What Are Manual Talks?
Every person has a kind of ‘manual’ – a preferred way of interacting with colleagues, leaders or with any other internal or external stakeholder. This manual comes with plenty of unpredictable and complex deviations in behaviour, but it reveals how someone usually prefers to work, interact or even thrive.
Yet: we don’t take enough time, enough effort to explicitly share our manual in our organisation. Nor do we question others in detail about theirs.
This has a big cost.
People get frustrated because they can’t read your (leadership) manual enough. Partnerships of all kinds are weakened because of our implicit behaviour.
Manual Talks 3.0 are team conversations that go beyond the surface.
It’s clear that they’re not in the first place about the what of tasks and responsibilities, but about how we want to interact, what we wish for in terms of behaviour. Ultimately, they’re about how we can support each other and grow as a team.
Sample Questions That Go Deeper
Manual Talks 3.0 invite for thoughtful reflection.
Here are a few questions I’ve used during team sessions:
- ‘How would one hour in your shoes look like? Or a week, or a month – a year?’
- ‘What are the differences between a good and a great collaboration for you? Can you elaborate on the positive differences?’
- ‘Which buttons should we definitely push more, but also not push when working together with you?’
- ‘What’s something you’d like to share with the team that perhaps you’ve never shared before?’
- ‘What barriers exist between your work and the other domains of your life?’
Why Manual Talks 3.0 Make a Difference
Manual Talks 3.0 go beyond:
- Team Talks 1.0 – light check-ins or surface-level interactions
- Team Talks 2.0 – useful talks around personality profiles (MBTI, DISC, Insights, etc.) that create awareness, but often stop there
Manual Talks 3.0 create more brave spaces where teams build a strong foundation of trust and connection, leading to tangible progress.
Co-Creating Your Own Powerful Questions
The real strength of these team sessions?
Team members are invited to start creating their own questions for eachother- those they’re curious about, or even sometimes nervous to ask.
Here are 3 examples from actual sessions:
- ‘When did you see our team at its worst? And what would you like to have instead?’ (→ the frog principle: jumping over the problem exploring desired changes)
- ‘What helped you show the best version of yourself so far? When did you thrive in our team, and who and what made the difference?’ (analysing for moments of flow and high team involvement)
- ‘Imagine our division at its best in 1, 2, and even 5 years – what would that concretely look like for you?’ (→ the miracle question – here: envisioning the best possible desirable team situation)
Brave Spaces First: The Prerequisite
You might ask:
‘What if there’s not enough psychological safety to have these 3.0 conversations in the first place?’
Then THAT is our first step together: let’s co-create that increased level of safety first. That brave space – one where more vulnerability is allowed, for instance.
One where people can take plenty of interpersonal risks through wild idea generation and mutual feedfoward*.
Enough psychological safety in the team is the fertile ground these talks need.
(*Whereas feedback mostly focuses on undesired behaviour in the past, feedfoward focuses more on desired behaviour in the future. Send me a personal message to find out more.)
Go Slow to Go Fast
This type of team reflections 3.0 might seem slow at first.
But in the long run, it creates an agility and clarity that speeds up real progress. (In Dutch: ‘traag gaan om snel te gaan.’ In French: ‘reculer pour mieux sauter.’)
With a stronger HOW in the team, the WHAT becomes so much easier.
One of the Things I’m Most Proud Of
After 15+ years in the field across Europe, coaching teams & leaders on Manual Talks with impact is one of the things I’m most proud of.
They can sometimes feel uneasy at first – but once teams get into the rhythm, the results are often transformational. Also, and especially, for C-level teams.
And: these talks should never be a one-off. Keep the conversation going.
Let’s talk.
Peter
* ‘Manual Talks’ in Dutch = ‘Handleidingsgesprekken’
